Killer diet
I hate to diet
I am having a huge dilemma here .. I hate to diet ..
#1 I hate it
#2 I suck at it
#3 Did I mention that I hate it??
How come it cant be like when I was younger? When I could eat and eat and eat all kinds of shit and never gain a pound.. Then I get older and I eat 7 pieces of cake and gain 40 pounds….
That is where my problem lies.. I hate those girls that can buy a Hershey’s bar and eat just one square.. And the damn bar lasts them 3 months …. I HATE YOU …..I have to eat the whole thing and maybe another.. I have no control, I don’t want one piece of cake I want 3 or 4 just to get the whole effect .. I feel like I am missing out and I just need 3 or 4 more pieces to get the whole experience.
I remember when I was younger me and my girlfriend went camping at her cabin for 5 days. We did a “test” yup because if you call it something scientific then that makes it better
Anyway we ate NOTHING but potato chips, candy, popcorn. Anything and everything that was bad for us.. For five whole days .. We rode 4 wheelers and sat on our asses all day long .. I think that we went fishing once .. But how much effort does it take to fish … UM NONE and we did not gain a pound NOT ONE POUND people!!!
I hate grocery shopping while on a diet.. I used to spend 45 min for a week of groceries now it is like 6 hours .. Because I have to read each and every label.. Not because I know what the hell I am doing .. Just so that I look like I know what I am doing !!
I guess that I can try the meth diet….. But my luck I would be a fat meth head and be more broken out than I already am and have 3 teeth … (not an option)
And I hate those that tell me .. “ohhh you don’t need to diet”… UMMM HELLO my cholesterol is like 500 ….. Maybe I will get a shirt made so that I can announce it to the world .... ??
I want to invent a calorie free, fat free, no protein, no carb, low cholesterol …Air food that you can eat all damn day long .. It will taste like .. Um well it will just taste yummy whatever you are craving just flip the switch.. And it is cinnamon bears dipped in milk chocolate fondue !! CAN YOU SAY YUMMY ?? Who would not want to eat that all day long and not gain a pound ???
But I will not share my creation with all of the skinny “ohh just one square of the Hershey bar” bitches !!! Because I HATE them !!!!!
Why cant they make a diet for people like me?? You know… I need to loose some weight to be healthier blah blah blah but I really don’t want to put any effort into it …
COME ON … AM I REALLY ASKING TOO MUCH ????????
Posted by MJ @ 5:48 PM
3 Comments:
I hear ya girl!! It's when you are feeling awesome and you think you look good because you've been working so hard, and then some stupid ass skinny bimbo walks in and ruins the whole DAMN I'm a hottie talk you gave yourself before you left the house!!! That's when you want to yell BITCH!!!!! Then shove the whole damn candy bar down their throat!!!!!! No I'm not hostle..... Really I prmose!
Air diet where do I sign up?!?!?
Come on! You could totally get by on three teeth...
*sobbing* The diet gods that be want me to subsist on 1300 calories a day. Look, I know I am a selfish whore because people would kill for 1300 calories a day in many parts of the world but I can't handle it. By 3:00 in the afternoon I want to kill someone, yet, apparantly the only way for my fat ass to lost the weight is to do this. And now MSN and CNN and other crap are coming out with studies that say if we eat 30% less we will live 30% longer. I hate them. I hate this. I'm going to start eating paper. No calories, very filling.
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