Hello Florida
So I just got back from a business trip to beautiful Florida .. There are some highlights and some LOW lights ….
First the LOW lights… Highlights I will save for tomorrows blog
Flew to Florida with a complete asshole who also happens to be a co-worker.. We will call him RICK ( the dick) ( I did not know before the trip that he was an ass) … Here is how it went …
On the plane From Salt lake city to Cincinnati for a 1 hour layover
Rick: We will have to hurry when we get to Tampa airport because I have some very important stuff to do.
Me: well I have never been to Tampa airport and you say that you have so if you could just point me in the direction of the baggage claim, I can pick up my bag then meet you at the car rental place (of course we were sharing a car lucky me)
Rick: Why the hell did you check a bag .. Geez we are only staying for 6 days
Me: (thinking ....you are a complete ass hole )
Rick: you damn women have to pack all kinds of shit for 6 days?? I will never understand you women, what did you pack the kitchen sink (yes he really said that)
Lady on the plane next to us that is over hearing our conversation: Huge eye roll
Me: are you seeing anyone ?
Rick: NO
Me: I can see why
Me: put my ipod earphones in and turn the music way up so that I can’t here him bitch about the movie that is showing because it is a chick flick… blah blah blah
Meanwhile at Cincinnati airport for a 1 hour layover
The plan lands, and I get right off and head for the nearest bar so that I can buy anything that has alcohol in it and smoke 15 cigarettes.
In walks the lady that was next to me on the plane
Lady: Is that you husband? I cant believe how big of asses men can be.
Me: HELL NO!!!! he is not my husband and yes he is a douche bag
Lady: well I would have told him to fuck off then
Me: (as I take a shot of tequila) well we are on a business trip and he is a co-worker and He is digging his own hole
Lady: I still would have told him to fuck off
Waiting at the terminal at Cincinnati airport
Rick: ( yells from 3 isles across) Well did you get all of your smokes in?
Me: sure did
Rick: well I sure as hell hope that I do not have to sit next to you on this flight and smell your smoke like I had to on the flight all the way here
Me: well I hope that you don’t have to sit by me either
Rick: What is the # for work
Me: I give him the #
Rick: calls talks for a bit then hangs up ..
Rick: see I just knew that as soon as I left something would go wrong
Me: (not buying his bullshit story knowing what he does)
Back on the plane to Florida
Thank god we are not sitting by each other
Me: a little self celebration in my head
At the Tampa airport
Rick: hurry up (apparently Rick turned into a speed walker on the flight)
Me: (thinking .. maybe he is suffering from little dick syndrome)
Rick: I have been here a hundred times just follow me
Waiting at the baggage claim
Rick: SEEEE I knew that this would take forever, Now we are going to have to drive in traffic and I am going to be late
Me (thinking um.. For what ? We have nothing to do tonight we don’t have training until tomorrow)
Rick: What color is your bag
Me: blue
Then I see my bag and get it off the spiny thingy
Rick: that is an ugly color
Me: well opinions are like ass holes ….(yes I said that)
Walking to the car rental place
Rick: I am going to make them give me an upgrade because I am going to go and see family while I am here and I am going to pull up in a sports car.
Me: ok well I am just going to stand out here and smoke while you get the car
Rick: damn smokers
Me: (thinking fuck off)
Rick: Ok well I will go and get the car and I will pick you up here. Don’t move
Me waiting
Me smoking
Me looking for a sports car to pick me up
Up pulls Rick in a Hyundai
Me: laughing so hard it hurts inside
Rick, me and the Hyundai driving to our hotel
Rick: well I am not into all the “team” stuff so You will have to find your own way to those functions
Me: well as I hear it the company is paying for the car and we both are kinda assigned to this car so tell me how that will work
Rick: I don’t know I am way too busy to do those stupid things
Me: hummm
Rick: also I don’t know when I will be up in the mornings so I cant promise that I can get you to the trainings on time ( because I am so important. well he did not say that but he was totally thinking it)
Me: How old are you?
Rick: 23
Me: (thinking Cocky, chubby, suffering from little dick syndrome and is a complete asshole what a package !!)
Me: hummm
As we are driving my cell phone rings and another co-worker that flew out on a different flight calls to tell me that the company is taking everyone out to dinner
I am super excited because I am starving because I have not eaten since 5 am and it is now 6 pm so I say ok we will be there
Me: hey everyone is going out to dinner how long till we get to the hotel?
Rick: well if you would have not checked a bag we would have been there already
Me: so how long
Rick: well it doesn’t really matter because I am not going
Me: that is ok I will just take the car while you are at the hotel that way I still can go
Rick: OH no you cant drive this car
Me: I cant?
Rick: Nope
Me: (thinking well I know that I can .... you fucker ...but I am way too tired, hungry and bitchy to do argue about this right now because I do not want to go to prison in Florida for murder)
Rick: besides I have to go to the store to buy shampoo and toothpaste
Me: shoulda checked a bag (dumb ass)
At the hotel (yes he made it alive)
Rick checked in and I checked in ( thank god he was on a completely different floor)
I walked to go and get me some dinner as I was denied use of the fucking company vehicle and Rick went up to his room to masturbate
So there you have it… Sounds like a blast huh ?
The highlights to follow
Posted by MJ @ 1:52 PM
6 Comments:
What an ass! This "Rick" btw is the SAME Rick from my post about parking spaces. He is a complete jerk...and right at this very moment, I can hear him making his stupid protien shake in the kitchen.
I fracking hate Rick. The next time he tries to talk to me, I am going to complete ignore him.
I hope he got talked to about all of this.
I'm from Desiree's blog. I kind of loath Rick myself. Please make sure you tell him I said that too.
I can't wait to introduce myself to "Rick the guy that was a dick to my wife." I would enjoy kicking that guys ass just as a matter of principle. Take me on your next business trip. That stuff won't ever happen again,I promise.
Ryan
Good news is that all the people in the office that have heard this story now hate him too; so we can all give him extra dirty looks when he's blabbering on about skiing. Join the "I hate Rick" club today!
P.S. I also can't wait until Rick gets to meet Ryan. Hee hee.
There's plenty of swamp in Florida, you might have gotten away with him disappearing you know... really. Now to read "the rest of the story"...
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