Only because I was asked NICLEY !!
My first real job was at the DMV which stands for the department of motor vehicles
(you get your license plates here, not your DRIVERS LICENCE people)
Anyway, it was my first job and I do have to say that it was the hardest job that I have ever had EVER.
I worked at the DMV for 5 years (why? you ask… Hell, I don’t know I guess that I am a gluten for punishment)
For the first few years I was the sweet (really I was.. swear) Customer service at it’s best.
this niceness lasted exactly 2 years ...Seven hundred and thirty days.. not including weekends and holidays (two entire years people !! yaaahh me !! that deserves a small pat on the back)
.. When you work at the DMV it turns you into a cold hearted bitch ..sad but true .. I got so tired of people whining all the time, calling me names, flipping me off, passing out in line,
*side note... do not go to the DMV drunk or high .. it is just not a good plan !!)
All in all working at the DMV sucked … BAD…
First let me tell you that some of the smelliest people frequent the DMV. For that reason I always had some Lysol for disinfecting surfaces and vapor rub at hand at all times, that way when I got an overwhelming whiff of body funk I would just put some vapor rub under my nose then continue on to complete the required transaction in hopes of a quick breath of fresh air before the next smelly person came up to the counter.
Now don’t get me wrong ...NOT all people that go to the DMV smell like ass .. However, I firmly believe that unless you bathe in cologne… the stink from the guy next to you in line seeps into your pours ..it is true .. it is ...
It was Christmas time and I decided to be festive and also to prevent the overwhelming abundance of bad breath. I put a bowl of red and white cinnamon mint candies on my window (at the DMV, the windows are like at a bank) ..anyhow the mints were a big hit .. I gave them out all the time .. to crying kids, to people with ass breath.. the mints were a huge benefit for everyone.
Here comes Mr. Cat litter box.. (now I swear to this day that I could smell him WHILE he was standing in line) anyway here he comes up to my window and puts BOTH arms up on my window… OH DEAR GOD I had to walk away .. I think that the air around him was actually green … he smelt like cat litter soup .. RANK ...
A few points to ponder here
1. Why was he wearing a flannel shit with the sleeves torn off to make a tank top in the middle of December?
2. How in the hell can a person smell like that when it is 23 degrees outside ?
*Side note He was a cocky asshole so the following is totally justified *
so there I was trying my very best to HURRY the hell up so that I could go and dry heave for hours ..
Ohh…..I was almost done ….
When he says …
“Hey, can I have a mint?”
and I said
“Yes.. Have two and put one under each armpit”
Then I politely handded him his license plates..
And right before he turned to go ….he called me a bitch ..
So I sprayed him with Lysol (Not in the eyes… however I would have loved so much to have done that)
Because people ..the DMV made me an evil evil person !!
What is the moral of this story ???
1. Don’t get a job at the DMV
2. Shower every single day .. and use soap... I do not know how to stress this enough..
3. Never ever piss off the DMV lady
4. You never know when red and white mints, vapor rub and Lysol will come in handy. Everyone should carry these 3 items at all times ..
Posted by MJ @ 3:44 PM
3 Comments:
I just removed public service from my list of things to do. Also, retail. I thank you for your insights and words to live by.
I love the DMV. I like standing in line for hours before being told that I have to stand in another line for hours. I also like it when I get my picture taken and the shadow of my hair makes me look like my head is ten sizes too large for poor little neck.
I blogged about the DMV today too. Another of my favorites blogged about getting her driver's license. Must be something going around.
There are some people here that have ass breath.
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