Are you sleeeeepy ?
So last Monday I had my endoscopy. I showed up at my scheduled time. I did not eat or drink and all that jazz.. just goes to show you that I CAN in fact follow directions (when I want to) anyhow.. they call my name and and take me back to the “prep” room.. Give me a gown that is
1. Ugly
2. Size XXXXXL
The nurse comes in and I ask how long is the wait? ( I am getting rather good at these things and know that just because I am back in the prep room with my giant gown on does not mean that this test will happen any time soon.) The nurse Linda was very good and went to check for me. She said that they are waiting for you NOW !! Wooot !!! So she proceeds to try to put in the IV. She attempts to put the IV in my right hand… she is not having much luck and is starting to kinda panic.. I re-assure her that this happens all the time and that I am used to it .. that seemed to help her relax a little.. after about 4 minutes of her fishing back and forth with the needle in my hand trying to get the vain that she “knows is there” she decides that she should ask someone else to help her to get my IV in..
In walks nurse #2 Melissa.. Melissa is kinda cocky and was more than happy to show Linda up with her mad IV skills. Melissa has the tourniquet on my arm and is getting ready to try and put the IV in the bend of my left arm when in walks my Doctor.. and says ..”I am READY!! ...............INSTANTLY Melissa gets nervous.. (on a side note… It is NEVER OK with me when my nurses/ Doctors/hair dressers get nervous.... ever...) Melissa tries to put the IV in my arm… she is in a rush… and………. O…….. she T..H..I..N..K..S….. she has it ………. Melissa takes the tourniquet off and pulls the sleeve of my gigantic gown down…..For one quick second I think… ummm what is that strange feeling in my arm??.. it kinda stings … o well .. lets just get this over with… END of thought
So now I am in the room where they do the procedure.. Blood pressure cuff CHECK .. Oxygen CHECK… Patient rolled over to her left side.. CHECK…. Medicine that sedates patient in under 5 minutes … Just given….
Me: So how long will this test take…
Nurse: 20 minutes
Me: How long have you been a Nurse?
Nurse: 14 Years
Me: WOW …
Doctor: how long has it been
Nurse: 7 minutes
Dr: Give her more medication
Nurse: OK
Nurse then gives me MORE sleepy time medicine
Me: Am I supposed to be asleep now?
Nurse: yes
Me: Soooo you ever get tired of looking inside random strangers stomachs?
Nurse: Not really.. it is rather interesting
Me: I would get tired of seeing the inside of peoples stomachs
Dr: How long has it been
Nurse: 18 Minutes
Dr: give her more medicine
Nurse: OK
Nurse gives me another does of sleepy time medicine
Me: It sure is cold in here
Nurse: honey… are you tired?
Me: NOPE
Nurse: open you mouth and hold your breath .. I am going to spray your throat with the numbing spray..
Me: OK
Nurse: try to close your eyes and relax
Me: it is so cold in here… I need more blankets
Dr: ( who I will say is rather irritated at this point) How long has it been?
Nurse 24 minutes:
Dr: give her MORE medicine
Nurse: OK but after this dose .. we can not administer any more..
Nurse gives me MORE sleepy time medicine
Me: WOW that really numbs your throat ..
Me: It SURE is cold in here... are you guys cold?
DR: We are going to go ahead and start… I am gong to put this towel over your head and it may feel a little uncomfortable ( I am SURE I have heard that before …)
Me: OK
Towel goes over my head… and they start…. The whole test took about 20 minutes just like the nurse said… It was More than a LITTLE uncomfortable It was painful at times…. But I got through it… they pull the scope out and I immediately sit up and say to the Doctor ….” Your version and my version of uncomfortable is WAY different “…
The nurses freak out because …. I SHOULD be sleeping … I refuse to be wheeled out of the room in the bed.. I want to walk… so I walk to my “recovery” room… and announce that I am ready to go home ….
Nurse #3… Stephanie comes in and removes my IV…. She hands me a gauze pad and tells me to apply pressure to the site where the IV was… and THAT is when I notice that my arm hurts and I notice a GIANT pocket of liquid has developed under my skin in the bend of my arm……… I get dressed and in comes the Doctor… gives us the report on what he found and tells my husband…. “I don’t know what happened in there.. we gave her enough sedative to put out a horse… she was awake for the whole thing” ( BUT NOW…. I KNOW) They tell me that I need to go to the bathroom ????? before I can go home????? that is the most bizarre thing that I have EVER heard about…. I am certain... CERTAIN .....100 % that nothing went up that hole…… Anyhow I do what I am told and go to the bathroom…. While I am in there I try to massage the pocket of fluid in the bend of my arm…… trying to make it go down so that hubby doesn’t see if and FREAK OUT …… I get it to the point where it looks ok enough so that no one will really notice…. I go back in to my “recovery” room and Stephanie states that it is policy that she wheel me out in a damn wheel chair….. I got a little irritated at this point and said something like … "So if I come here and lay down …. You need to wheel me out ??? I did not even get sedated"… WHATEVER … She decided that she could probably get away with walking me out ……
I am about half way out of the hospital with Stephanie the policy following nurse when …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
I start to feel FuCKeD up ………. Fucked up ……… did I say Fucked up …. Because THAT is exactly how I felt……….. But I can't let Stephanie know because I don’t want her in a panic running around the hospital looking for the nearest wheelchair so she can throw my fucked up ass in…so I do my best non chalet ..” hey I am not fucked up” walk… after about 42 minutes of walking (I am sure that it was more like 1 minute) we get to my hubbys car that is waiting out front of the hospital for me. I get in the car and we drive away…. That is when I mention to hubby what happened…… He was not happy … (I was) because who doesn’t like being fucked up? I would have MUCH preferred being fucked up DURRING the TEST … But I take what I can get…..
My test was done at 12:30 pm Monday …… I was fucked up till Wednesday mid afternoon…. it kinda felt like a pot/alcohol/acid high (just to put it in perspective for ya)
Morale of the story here…… If you are getting IV medicine that is supposed to FUCK you up and or sedate you.. and you are NOT sedated and NOT fucked up ……. CHECK the damn IV bitches…..
Posted by MJ @ 7:15 AM
7 Comments:
Thanks for putting that all into perspective for me, MJ. Now, I totally understand how you felt.
That was some fucking story. At least there was a silver lining in that cloud, though, no?
No, no silver lining. Please do not ever go back to that hospital, doctor, or set of nurses. Ever, for any reason. Ever. Never. Move here. Come see my doctor, in my hospital. Time to go somewhere else. You need real doctors.
You have been going to a group that is really secretly filming for TV. They aren't for real. You need a place where they practice medicine. Not film making. Sorry to be the one to tell you. Time to move.
It's not that I have an opinion, mind you.
Ouch! Good job on the "I'm not fucked up" walk.
Wow. That's kinda lucky. You'd think they would know about this, I mean really, I have just barely got the medical savy and knowledge to deal with a sliver ( had one the other day, got all gross and infected on me, I cut the bastard out of my hand) but even I know that after 3 shots of the nappy-juice, you likely aren't getting it. Glad you're OK.
The prolonged buzz would be because of the nappy-juice slowly entering your system through itty bitty capillaries instead of mainline. Hope you could at least enjoy that aspect.
M@- It would have been so much better if I would have been sedated DURRING the procedure !!
CEO- I am beginning to think that this is all hopeless… I am seeing a bunch of flunkies… Also you are on to something about reality TV… that is the only thing that can explain why I can’t seem to get any help
Wandering Girl- Thank you.. I tried really hard to pull it off.
Arthur- I would say that I am rather lucky… :) Dumb luck !! but luck is luck !!
I can't imagine how you lasted through that procedure undrugged. I did it a year ago. Let me tell you, when they numbed my throat, I freaked. I swore I couldn't breath, it was closed. The doctor asked how it was possible for me to talk and then in mid contemplation, I passes out.
Those are some good meds, and you got the triple dose. Well done and totally deserved!
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