~Thank you~
I just wanted to thank each of you for your kind words… It is good to know that there are thoughtful people out there in the blogosphere… It has been a tough two weeks but we are getting through it day by day.
It really sucks that sometimes it takes someone that you love’s passing for us to remember that life is short… Live for the day.. Tell your loved ones just how much you love them… Have fun…. Laugh.. Cry… Love… Because we will never know when it is our time to go.
MJ
Where have I been???
Last Saturday I lost my precious grandma….. My heart is broken….
Find a happy place
 When I was younger, I had a gap between my two front teeth.. I wanted braces so bad that I asked for them one year for Christmas.
My mom took me to the dentist so that he could evaluate the possibility of me getting braces, he stuck two of his hotdog size fingers in my mouth, felt around, got out his little mini mirror, then asked me where I put my tongue when I sleep… who the hell knows that?? I am sleeping.. dumb ass ...I am unsure as to the exact position that my tongue is in..
He went out into the lobby and informed my mother that I could not have braces because I push on the back side of my front teeth with my tongue.. Also that the gap may close together when my wisdom teeth come in.. I remember sitting in that dentist chair thinking I don’t have buck teeth you ass hole.. I have a gap… Where did they find this guy? And trying not to cry as my dreams for straight teeth were taken away.
My wisdom teeth came in .. and fuck you Mr. dentist,!! it hurt like crazy .. had oral surgery to remove the wisdom teeth and the gap never closed.
10 years later, When I became a grown up. Had my own dental insurance, and could choose a dentist that I wanted to go to, I got the gap fixed.. no braces just had the veneers.. quick and easy that is my motto
The same dentist that fixed the gap in my teeth also filled a few cavities that I had … both abscessed. I never went back
After four years of hiding I decided to put on my big girl pants and see the dentist.. I have to set an example for the kids ya’ know !!
I had the standard x-rays.. yep those still suck !! Then holly god the cleaning …
This dentist used an ultrasonic vibrating thing that shoots out ice cold water… Dear god in heaven.. It was the absolute worst cleaning that I have ever had.. FUCK !! After 40 minutes of cleaning it was announced that I was done and that I had been a good patient and I could pick a treasure out of the toy chest. After I picked out my ruby ring, the dentist came in and examined my x-rays, informed me that I had no cavities and that my teeth look great!
The moral of this story …. It is perfectly ok to wait 5 years in between dentist visits.. I am living proof !!
I could not say it better myself !!
I took this quiz and I am none other than …..  You are a beautiful princess with great strength of character I always wanted to be wonder woman today is a good day !!!
Now take a deep breath...
Last night I watched the Abyss.. and just about passed out When I watch shows that involve underwater activity, ( with the exception of Finding Nemo) I try to hold my breath the entire time the actor is underwater.
I just cant stand it when the actor is underwater for 8 minutes. That is just amazing how those actors do that.. They must have special training or something.
I woke up with a splitting headache due to lack of oxygen.
My pipes are FROZE
This is why I HATE winter ... Yep.... it is fuckin' cold
Air please....
I love to be outdoors in the summertime, the perfect temperature for me is 80 + I love to be in the sun . Yes I am well aware of skin cancer and the global warming stuff.. I still love it.. I love the way I feel when I am in the sun..
I love to tan, especially near the ocean, lake or pool. I do not really LOVE to tan the old fashion way with a squirt bottle but I will do it just to be in the sun.
In the winter I get a bit depressed because I can’t be in the hot sun. It is not too fun to be outside in the wintertime when it is 7 degrees outside nope not too fun.. not at all..
I settle for 18 minutes of glorious high pressure artificial sun in the tanning bed twice a week in the wintertime.
Yesterday it was a smoking 40 degrees I decided that I needed to tan. So I paid my dues, went into my designated room, stripped down, slathered tanning lotion all over my body and got my Ipod all ready to go within the allotted 3 minutes before the tanning bed turns it’s self on.
I get into the tanning bed, do not turn on the fan because it is fucking cold on the fiberglass, close the coffin like lid and try to relax.. after about 4 minutes it starts to get warm.. I reach for the knob that controls the fan.. I turn it .. no fan.. I push it … no fan .. I pull it .. no fan … I call it a bitch .. no fan
10 minutes in It is damn hot .. I am sweating… I try blow on myself to cool myself down.. I fan my hands over my body in the cramped quarters.. it is not helping…
I think to myself ….
Self.. What do you do now?
Do you get out, put on all of your clothes and tell the lady in the front that the damn fan is a piece of shit and does not work?
Do you stick it out?
What if the fan is not really broke? then you would fee like an ass now wouldn’t you ?
12 minutes in … 8 minutes to go
I decided to stick it out …
what the hell was I thinking?!?!?!?!
I can honestly say that I know what it feels like to have your body microwaved.. I actually could smell the flesh cooking, I really could… maybe that is why they have the fans in the first place?
1 to cool you down and
2 so that you can’t smell your self cook…
16 minutes in,
I am almost in tears.. thinking to self .. Knock it off you damn baby.. pretend that you are in the desert.. my god you are a whiney ass..
17 minutes in
Thinking to self,
Is that sweat?
Is that a pool of sweat that you are laying in ?
What was it that I heard about water and electricity… oh ya… Electrocution..
Can I be electrocuted?..
What if I was electrocuted then what?..
How long would they let me lay here, naked and electrocuted?
Do I have current incase of emergency contact information in my tanning file?
What will the family think?
What will they put in my obituary?
Then… everything goes dark …
Dear god it is over… the bed has shut off… it is no longer 700 degrees .. I feel a breeze.. I lay there a bit and think about how close to death I actually came… I compose myself ..I look at the jeans, the t-shirt, turtle neck and sweater laying on the floor… I sigh because I do not want to be any hotter that I already am .. I seriously think about running to my car naked… I decide against it... I get dressed.
As I am walking out of the building to my car, I say… “thank you, have a good day” to the lady at the front.
As I get into my car .. I think of the next poor bastard that gets into that tanning bed…..and can’t figure out how to turn on the damn fan…
It snowed a little today …
 Gotta love it......
 Or Not ......
SBD...Not to be confused with STD
 I am diagnosing myself with SBD .. seasonal bitchy disorder .. this is a serious medical condition and I may need time off work to recover.
I seem to be a wee bit bitchy’er in the winter.. Not that I am not bitchy in the summer…. I try to maintain a constant state of bitchyness all year long so that I don’t confuse anyone around me. But every once in a while, I like to “play nice” and …watch them freak out because .. MJ is being NICE?? Someone take her temperature and call 911..
My personal rules are as follows:
1. Don’t touch me
2. Don’t talk to me
3. Don’t look at me
Really simple, not too many, and easy to follow….
If these rules are NOT followed you may just get 3rd degree burns all over your stupid ass..
Oh’ did I mention that I can shoot flames out of my eyes at any given moment..
This took me years to perfect and should not be attempted my anyone under the age of 13
I decided that I should start tanning because who does not look great with a natural glowing tan when it is 14 degrees outside?
Tanning is really not helping the bitchyness part .. but I look great !
....
My new years resolution is to follow the motto
“If I don’t have anything nice to say… I won’t say anything at all”
~I have nothing to say~
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MJ
I am me .. that is all there is to it.
I am Fun, Pushy, Unpredictable, Vain, Confident, Expressive, Patronizing, Pompous, Bossy, Courageous, Romantic, Dramatic, Loyal, Determined, Lofty, Stubborn and Exhausted!!
Read at your own risk and Love it!
Miss Doxie
Jurgen Nation
The Art of Time Suckage
The Morning Meeting
Certifiable Princess
Chollyson
Amalah
Animal Mind
Much a do about sumthin
Alan thinks
Tiny Voices in my head
My reflecting pool
Weapon of mass instruction
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