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The boys of American idol need to STOP wearing makeup .. seriously .. whoever is applying that much foundation, blush and lipstick to these boys needs there ass kicked …..that shit needs to stop… I am hopped up on cold medicine and it confuses me.. It helps when boys look like boys and girls look like girls.. Last night my daughter walked in to my room and informed me that she had 57 freckles on her body.. 9 on her face.. 14 on her legs.. I lost focus at this point in the conversation .. she is hopped up on cold medicine also.. neighbor behind me YOU SUCK ASS .. why would you have a dog just to keep it in the backyard ALL DAY AND NIGHT … I can hear your damn dog constantly barking I am sure you CAN HEAR IT TOO FUCKERS … here is an idea.. why don’t you take off all your clothes and spend a night in your backyard and see how you like it.. I am sure not much ass wipes … I hate people like you… and to the other neighbor up the street.. please tell me why you painted your door purple. What does that mean? I am perplexed as to why you chose that bright color to paint your front door every time I drive by… are you a crack house? Is it a religious thing? What the hell ?? The sun has come out this week and has melted some of the snow .. I am trying not to get too excited though because in Utah it can snow in May.. that is just LAME if you ask me ..I need sushi … soon …. I promised myself that I would not get addicted.. but I am .. there I said it … I am trying to learn how to use chop sticks and not look like an idiot… I can pick up a roll with sticks but can’t seem to master the art of eating rice and squid salad with them … why is so damn hard? And who’s idea was it to eat with sticks anyway ? seriously…. Pear vodka is my new favorite drink .. because who doesn’t like pear .. and vodka mixed together in a glass of happiness ? …New girl.. in a way I am glad that Friday is your last day.. you see I have this thing about people that I don’t know touching me .. I hate it ….DON’T DO IT … … you touched my arm AND hair the FIRST day you were here .....Hair and arm touch in the same day … FUCK OFF ....I can’t like you. And just because we had a similar surgery does not make us instant friends … I try to remain closed off and distant from co- workers .. Sorry that is just the way it is… I am going to go take a tylenol cold and a mucinex with some pear vodka and get some rest ….
Because I said it so well the same time last year ...
Dear Mucus,
We need to have a talk, and since you are being so stubborn.. you have forced me to do this in a letter.
We have been together for a few weeks now, and you really were not too bad in the beginning, however I can’t handle the pressure any more… You have been so demanding lately… I know that you are frustrated at work and all, but so am I….
I can’t sleep, I can’t concentrate and have had a headache over this every day for a week now.
Also I hear that you have been intimate with a few of my friends.. come on.. I told you in the beginning that this was just a fling, but my friends to??.. You sure do get around.
I appreciate that you think that I have a cute nose and a sexy nasal cavity really I do, but the time has come to call it quits …
Come to think about it …. It will not hurt my feelings if you start an intimate relationship with someone else .. HONEST … I am trying to let you go gently, Please don’t force me to get a restraining order.. Just pack up your belongings and leave. Don’t cry, we were not meant to be.
Sincerely, MJ
Immediate medical attention may be required
Yesterday when my daughter came through the door holding her side.. I asked her what happened........She told me in her most dramatic voice.. about how she was walking down the sidewalk and slipped on some ice.. and owwww !!!! it hurts sooooo bad…. and my kneeeeee too …. and MOM!!! .. it was awful.. and mom I felt so embarrassed.. LOOK at it MOM !!! It HURTS … NOOOOOOOOO don’t touch it !!!
After I assured her that her wound would NOT require tweezers, hydrogen peroxide, or surgery … I looked her over… just a little sidewalk rash.. no bleeding .. a scrape on the surface of the skin..
!!!MOM!!! It hurts …. What are we going do???
I used my sure fire reply… “Go put some Neosporin on it”
Off she went … to apply copious amounts of Neosporin to her major injury…
About 15 minutes later.. she comes in to tell me good night as I am hugging her.. I can feel that she is um.. I guess bulky? Around her waist…
I ask.. how is your injury? Are you going to be okay ?
Yes mom, I put a bandage on it and it is really helping my side feel better.. see look …..
When a regular old band aid won’t cut it… 
So a big Thank you to the makers of ACE bandages….you saved the night … if it was not for the ACE… all hell could have broken loose.....
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MJ
I am me .. that is all there is to it.
I am Fun, Pushy, Unpredictable, Vain, Confident, Expressive, Patronizing, Pompous, Bossy, Courageous, Romantic, Dramatic, Loyal, Determined, Lofty, Stubborn and Exhausted!!
Read at your own risk and Love it!
Miss Doxie
Jurgen Nation
The Art of Time Suckage
The Morning Meeting
Certifiable Princess
Chollyson
Amalah
Animal Mind
Much a do about sumthin
Alan thinks
Tiny Voices in my head
My reflecting pool
Weapon of mass instruction
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