Ram what ???
As I was driving home from work yesterday I saw
Painted on the tail gate of a lifted Dodge Ram pickup truck
WHY STICK IT …..
WHEN YOU CAN RAM IT…
~I am so confused~
I can not tell you how much I hated this person ………
*Ü*
I am Cold
Oh and the weather can kiss my ass right along with the flu ………..
It is damn cold and I feel like shit …
One more glance from an innocent co worker and I swear I will burn the building down ……
I have seriously contemplated throwing myself on the floor and having an all out tantrum .. maybe then I could get some tranquilizers and a hot fucking blanket …
Feb 27 Today
Heavy snow this morning will taper to snow showers this afternoon. High 37F. Winds W at 10 to 40 mph. A slushy accumulation of 2 to 4 inches.
Feb 27 Tonight
Mostly cloudy with scattered snow showers mainly during the evening. Low near 20F. Winds light and variable. Chance of snow 30%.
Feb 28 Tomorrow
Overcast. Cold. High 31F. Winds SW at 5 to 20 mph.
Feb 28 Tomorrow night
Occasional snow showers. Low 23F. Winds WSW at 5 to 20 mph. Chance of snow 40%.
Can I barrow your snorkel ?
 I just bought BBC’S “blue planet” series on DVD because
~I am a dork
~Anything that is underwater fascinates me !!
As I was watching last night I began to think of the things that I don’t necessarily love under water
Jelly fish …. They are beautiful ….from far away .. I think that if I was to be stung on the leg instead of the face I would love them a little more… but a tentacle across the face puts a damper on things
Minnows … I hate em’ I was just trying to pee in the lake and I was seriously attacked by 90 starving minnows ..serious… bastards
Carp … There is no love for carp .. they are just plain gross and grow to disgusting sizes and have you seen their mouths ? I just know that one will grab on to my big toe and suck me down to the depths of the local lake here.
See thru skinniness .. in Hawaii there are these fish that swim on the very surface of the water.. they have never caused me any harm however, they swim right into your forehead and it is a bit disturbing.
Sea urchins… beautiful amazing …but the second you step on them ….. dear god … they really do hurt ~~
Under the water is an amazing place to be… I have seen some stunning (no pun intended) things and am amazed by the beauty of it all..
I need to move to the coast of somewhere so that I can spend more time underwater and less time watching it on TV ….
Floating in the tub on my belly is not doing it for me anymore Ü
Dear Flu.......
……… Kiss my ass ............
Sincerely,
MJ
But you’ll look funny …
 When I go to the salon I like to arrive early.. that way I can browse the shelves of shampoo and hair potions… smelling each one, picking my favorites. The salon that I go to also sales makeup .. They have this big round display of it .. everything has a sample tester… So after I am done smelling the hair products ..I walk on over to the makeup display .. apply some makeup on my face as I announce quite loudly ..
“Oh I LOVE this eye shadow.. I really think that I need this”..
“Oh and this blush … it makes my cheeks look so …. Rosy “! “This makeup is fantastic !!”
By the time that I have applied a fresh coat of makeup on my face the stylist calls me back.. she asks me what I have in mind for my hair .. I tell her… same color… (blonde, brown and black) (because I can’t make up my mind on the color either) and I am still deciding on the bangs….. She tells me “your forehead is small … bangs will make you look funny”.. I have been told this before and all day I have been judging people by the size of their foreheads … Man there are some big ass foreheads out there… you know what they say about big foreheads…. Bangs…..
She tells me that maybe we should do “long” bangs I did not know that by long she meant virtually no bangs… they are more like a layer.. but it is ok because we are referring to them as bangs…
After the applied makeup and the hair color, wash, cut, and style I am looking like 38 bucks and want to go out to show off my salon quality look. I go home put on my old prom dress and off to McDonalds I go ….
I am a classy woman
Would I worry about this if I had a penis ?
I am embarrassed to report that the only pressing issue for me this weekend is bangs or no bangs.. that seems to be the burning question …..
I have asked every single person that will listen to me this pressing question
Several responses have been
Why the hell would you want bangs !!
Your forehead is a bit small ....Bangs would make you look funny not that you don’t look funny already !!
I don’t give a shit
Go for it
I have hair that requires no “do” it is not poufy it is not limp .. just long straight hair
I need a change folks and in one hour I am getting it cut …. How…..Is the urgent matter at hand here ……
It would be so much easier to be a boy !!
This is why I need a mental break … Dear god …
The winding hallways of Salt Lake City's Trolley Square became a shooting gallery for an 18-year-old gunman in a trench coat who fired a shotgun randomly at customers, killing five and wounding four before being killed by police,
Body found in river by a 14 year old girl …….
Oh and did I mention that a local bank (right up the street from home) was robbed by shotgun yesterday…
FUCK !
Woooooosssaaaaaaaaaaa
I will be taking a mental health vacation Feb 12th- the 23rd…. If you need me .. I will be on the 5th floor of my local hospital…… having a nice conversation with myself and my imaginary friend Lucy. I will be leaving comments because I just cant get enough of your guys !!!!
Happy Birthday Baby Sis
 To my favorite girl in the whole wide world …..
 Happy 11th Birthday !!  I love your guts !!
We are having a heat wave…
A tropical heat wave……
It is a whopping 45 degrees today
I must celebrate, Who drank all the vodka ? …..
Super Bowl XLI
INDIANAPOLIS COLTS VS. CHICAGO BEARSLast week: The Indianapolis Colts finally shed the big, hairy, sweaty, stinky, Loser Monkey from their backs and beat the New England Patriots 38-34 in the AFC championship game, thus earning a Super Bowl berth for Peyton Manning and the Colts. The Colts did not make it easy on themselves, falling behind early to the Pats 21-3 in the first quarter. But the Colts fought back the entire game, and in a back and forth fourth quarter, they ultimately prevailed with a touchdown run by rookie RB Joseph Addai. The much maligned Colts defense sealed the deal by intercepting little sissy-boy Tom Brady on their post-penultimate drive, thus rocketing the Colts to their first Super Bowl appearance since 1970. Thirty seven years. Just think of all the things, good and bad, that have happened since the Colts last attended a Super Bowl. The Colts still had hall of famer QB Johnny Unitas on their roster, who has since passed into the great end zone in the sky, and were still actually located in the cesspool known as Baltimore, Maryland. They had first pick in the ’84 draft and selected that whiny, sniveling, little cry baby bitch, horse-faced John Elway out of Stanford, who kicked, screamed and soiled his nasty diaper to get traded to the Broncos of all teams. In 1984, the Colts packed their horseshoes and moved to the exciting, thriving metropolis of Indianapolis, Indiana for some reason. They had good and bad years in Indy, coming in dead last in the league in 1997. They drafted QB Peyton Manning in 1998 out of Tennessee, who promptly took the team to an abysmal 3-13 record his first season. Since then, the Colts have steadily improved, and seemingly the last five or so years have missed the Super Bowl by mere inches. So finally, after 37 years, the Colts have a shot at the big one. Go Colts.
Last week: The Chicago Bears demolished the Katrina kitty-kit Saints 39-14 at Soldier Field in Chicago. The Bears return to the big dance for the first time since 1986, when they had such household defensive names such as “the Fridge”, and Mike Singletary. The offense consisted of players such as RB Walter Payton (rest in peace) and the annoying QB Jim McMahon. The coach was a much younger, skinnier, and less-irritating-than-he is today Mike Ditka. The ’86 Bears won 18 of their 19 games that year, and destroyed the weak and helpless New England Patriots 46-10 in Super Bowl XX. The Bears of today are slightly different…They have a coach with the cute little name of “Lovie”, affectionately named I presume after Mrs. Howell on Gilligan’s Island (?) The defense bears (no pun intended, but ha) some resemblance to the ’86 team, but clearly does not have the dominance they did. And, alas, the man guiding the ship behind center is an oft-injured, sporadic, consistent as a diarrhetic bowel, aptly named Rex Grossman. The Bears Super Bowl hopes rest in this man’s shaky, slippery fumble-fingered hands. Grossman played adequately in the game against the Saints, which is to say, he didn’t throw for four hundred yards and five touchdowns, nor did he totally fuck the game up for the Bears. The problem with playing against the Colts, however, is that at any given time, Peyton Manning can bust loose for the aforementioned 400 yard/5 touchdowns. If the Bears end up in an offensive shooting match with the Colts, it could be uglier than waking up after a Jagermeister-induced prom date…
Prediction: This should be a classic. The high scoring Colts offense versus the stingy Bears defense. The Colts run defense has more holes in it than a rusty colander, while the Bears offense has the official “worst quarterback to ever play in a Super Bowl” even though Grossman has yet to throw a pick or fumble a snap. Weather should not be a factor, as the game is being played in the sunny, scenic Miamigration, Florida. The Colts have the disadvantage of playing in the AFC, which everyone knows is a subpar, half-assed, weak and girly conference. The Bears have the disadvantage of QB Rex Grossman, who everyone knows is a subpar, half-assed, weak and girly quarterback. As much as I disrespect the AFC however, Peyton Manning deserves this, if only for the sole fact that he brought such a downtrodden and shitty team this far, without whining and puling about being traded like a certain, queer, homo-sexualesque, stallion faced Broncos quarterback. The Colts beat the Bears 27-24, with Colts good as gold kicker Adam Vinatieri kicking a field goal in the final drive. Sorry Jackson…You know, you really do look a little like Grossman. Chad's POV Gotta love it ...
Eat this....
 So I have been on a diet for 5 weeks now and I am doing pretty well .. loosing weight.. I feel ok.. I have energy..
The only thing that I am really struggling with is not to eating junk food randomly.. Because that is what I have always done. Once I bought 6 crispy creams and ate all 6 at one sitting. It was amazing.. I could actually feel my ass growing ! Damn those were the days !
Yesterday around lunch time I walked out of the office for a smoke and a co- worker of mine was eating something from a local restaurant that I love and can't have.
I wanted to poke her in the eyes then shove her face into the delicious platter of food that she was eating..
Is that bad ??
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MJ
I am me .. that is all there is to it.
I am Fun, Pushy, Unpredictable, Vain, Confident, Expressive, Patronizing, Pompous, Bossy, Courageous, Romantic, Dramatic, Loyal, Determined, Lofty, Stubborn and Exhausted!!
Read at your own risk and Love it!
Miss Doxie
Jurgen Nation
The Art of Time Suckage
The Morning Meeting
Certifiable Princess
Chollyson
Amalah
Animal Mind
Much a do about sumthin
Alan thinks
Tiny Voices in my head
My reflecting pool
Weapon of mass instruction
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